Drew: *opens bottle of water*
Bottle: *hss!*
Student: You're drinking sparkling water?
Drew: Nope. Just regular water.
Student: Regular water shouldn't hiss like that when you open it.
Drew: *shrug* that was just a release of pressure.
Student: Or like... chemicals or something. Why would they have to pressurize water?
Drew: Well the bottle was pressurized to make sure it wasn't crushed during transport. You wouldn't want a crushed water bottle, would you?
Student: *blank stare*
Drew: That was a rhetorical question.
Student: A what?
Drew: Never mind. *sips water*
Friday, January 23, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Welcome Relief
You'll all be glad to know that the bookstore restroom smells exactly like a horse barn. I don't know why you should be glad to know it, nor why it should smell this way. You'll also be glad to know that I turned around straight away and headed for another restroom. Because I am not a horse.
That last bit is obvious but, nonetheless, a relief.
You're welcome.
Short
This morning in my first class, an entire classroom of students failed to recognize Richard Nixon in a photograph. One brave student guessed, "Ronald Reagan?"
It was a sincere guess.
Static Turn Off Effect
I successfully resisted chiming in on a conversation about race, despite a young woman's claims that race wasn't "real" and it is "just a construct" I did not tell her that it is both real and a construct, that the two are not mutually exclusive. I didn't tell her that what she probably meant was that race is sociopolitical, not biological. I did not remind her that, of course, there IS a biological basis for skin color but that race and skin color were different things.
I was proud of myself for not chiming in and was saved the burden of restraining myself by way of a conversational segue. To evolution and human origin.
She expressed that she straight up disbelieved that sub-Saharan Africa was humanity's most likely point of origin. She said that her disbelief is not for want of evidence (in fact, she conceded several times that there was an abundance of credible evidence), but because she just doesn't want to believe it. She doesn't like the fact because "people travel and they go to Africa and bring back stuff and are like 'Ooo I got this from Africa!'".
That's it. That was her argument.
There was more but, from that point on, all I heard from her was static.
Weird, no?
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
The Switch
Switched On - 1/13/2015
12:05 - About 15 minutes ago, I took my first dose of Adderall. Now we wait.
12:30: It's kicked in. I'm sure of it now. I took it an hour ago.
12:53: I'm feeling perfectly and completely clear headed. And sleepy. Very sleepy. It's a strange sensation. I think the dose may be too low?
1:39 - There's a substantial positive buzz that comes along with this. I'm feeling very affectionate. I want to hug and cuddle and nuzzle and tell people I love them. I am still sleepy but now I am holding my pillow. Hugging my pillow. My pillow and I are cuddling.
3:15 - After a pretty intense period of sleepiness and positive love-buzz, I'm coming down. I was much more clear headed than usual but already feel like this dose isn't quite enough. I've been told to experiment with the dosage on my own to see how I respond/feel.
3:26 - I've taken another dose. It occurs to me after taking it that I was only supposed to take half. I am ok with this. Now that I know what to expect, I'm kinda looking forward to it. Tomorrow, I'll try a pill and a half to start instead of just the one.
4:30 - Another HUGE rush of positive feels, this time minus the sleepiness. I'm more focused (?) but the positive buzz is certainly MOST of what I'm feeling. I'm not feeling the profound sense of focus that I was lead to believe I would. I'm certainly MUCH more focused than I normally am, but it's still not quite where I'd need it to be and the effect certainly doesn't last nearly long enough.
5:07 - Repeated bursts of positive feels. Attractive people are MUCH more attractive. Positive feels are intensified. What I thought was focus was maybe more relaxation and happiness.
9:44 - The drugs have worn off but there is still an air of positive glowiness and relaxation. I'm not getting exactly what I want out of these pills but the happiness is not unwelcome in the least.
12:05 - About 15 minutes ago, I took my first dose of Adderall. Now we wait.
12:30: It's kicked in. I'm sure of it now. I took it an hour ago.
12:53: I'm feeling perfectly and completely clear headed. And sleepy. Very sleepy. It's a strange sensation. I think the dose may be too low?
1:39 - There's a substantial positive buzz that comes along with this. I'm feeling very affectionate. I want to hug and cuddle and nuzzle and tell people I love them. I am still sleepy but now I am holding my pillow. Hugging my pillow. My pillow and I are cuddling.
3:15 - After a pretty intense period of sleepiness and positive love-buzz, I'm coming down. I was much more clear headed than usual but already feel like this dose isn't quite enough. I've been told to experiment with the dosage on my own to see how I respond/feel.
3:26 - I've taken another dose. It occurs to me after taking it that I was only supposed to take half. I am ok with this. Now that I know what to expect, I'm kinda looking forward to it. Tomorrow, I'll try a pill and a half to start instead of just the one.
4:30 - Another HUGE rush of positive feels, this time minus the sleepiness. I'm more focused (?) but the positive buzz is certainly MOST of what I'm feeling. I'm not feeling the profound sense of focus that I was lead to believe I would. I'm certainly MUCH more focused than I normally am, but it's still not quite where I'd need it to be and the effect certainly doesn't last nearly long enough.
5:07 - Repeated bursts of positive feels. Attractive people are MUCH more attractive. Positive feels are intensified. What I thought was focus was maybe more relaxation and happiness.
9:44 - The drugs have worn off but there is still an air of positive glowiness and relaxation. I'm not getting exactly what I want out of these pills but the happiness is not unwelcome in the least.
Left Over
According to the step counter on my phone, I average over 10,000 steps a day on campus. That's about 5 miles (give or take). 5 miles of up and down stairs, elevator pacing, "Excuse me" and "thank you!". 5 miles of book purchasing, tea sipping, book bag hauling. 5 miles of outlines and paper editing. 5 miles of exams and runny noses, broken pens and back pain. 5 miles of reduced calorie blueberry muffins, cheap unreliable umbrellas. 5 miles of worrying and striving and doing better than I ever thought I could.
Getting lost feels easier now, familiar, normal. I'm in a sea of lost people, an ocean of searchers. The campus plays out at once foreign and familiar, but I've gotten used to it, comfortable being adrift and disoriented. I've stopped trying to put down roots and stake a claim here - this is only temporary. This is not my home.
I've got 40 more days of classes before it's all said and done, before I finally finish what I started, before I bury my excuses once and for all and forever, no headstone, no marker, no mourners. And it feels surreal. It feels like maybe I've never tried this hard at anything in my life. It feels like maybe I'm capable of so much more than I thought I was. It feels scary and exciting in all the best ways.
And it makes me feel foolish, remembering, looking back at all the time I spent not trying, comfortable and complacent with "just enough", "not now", "next year", "we'll see", "one day", "wait until". Its embarrassing looking back at yester-me lounging, skinny legs extended, toes outstretched, basking in imaginary tomorrows, as if I had a guarantee, as if I had all the time in the world.
I don't pity that guy. I loathe him. Because he knows better and chooses not to know better, choose not to DO better. Because reasons. So many reasons. All of the reasons. All of the best and good and perfectly reasonable reasons like so many voluntary chains. Like future-fasting. Like a spoiled brat who didn't want to know the difference between opportunity and effort.
But he is me. And I'm here. And I like where I am and where I'm going. And he's pushed me here, in spite of his laziness, his silly expectations, his perfectly reasonable reasons. And maybe I have something to learn from that. Maybe I shouldn't make an enemy of him just yet. Maybe he's the only way I could have gotten here at all.
According to the step counter, I've walked over 1000 miles between today and the day I started. And, if my step average holds, I've got about 200 more miles to go before I finish this final leg of the journey. And I'm going to take my time counting, smelling the wind like strange country, eyeing the bricks and the skirts and the goofy hats in rapturous wonder. Because this is my last go around and I don't want to miss a trick.
I won't ever be back this way again.
Getting lost feels easier now, familiar, normal. I'm in a sea of lost people, an ocean of searchers. The campus plays out at once foreign and familiar, but I've gotten used to it, comfortable being adrift and disoriented. I've stopped trying to put down roots and stake a claim here - this is only temporary. This is not my home.
I've got 40 more days of classes before it's all said and done, before I finally finish what I started, before I bury my excuses once and for all and forever, no headstone, no marker, no mourners. And it feels surreal. It feels like maybe I've never tried this hard at anything in my life. It feels like maybe I'm capable of so much more than I thought I was. It feels scary and exciting in all the best ways.
And it makes me feel foolish, remembering, looking back at all the time I spent not trying, comfortable and complacent with "just enough", "not now", "next year", "we'll see", "one day", "wait until". Its embarrassing looking back at yester-me lounging, skinny legs extended, toes outstretched, basking in imaginary tomorrows, as if I had a guarantee, as if I had all the time in the world.
I don't pity that guy. I loathe him. Because he knows better and chooses not to know better, choose not to DO better. Because reasons. So many reasons. All of the reasons. All of the best and good and perfectly reasonable reasons like so many voluntary chains. Like future-fasting. Like a spoiled brat who didn't want to know the difference between opportunity and effort.
But he is me. And I'm here. And I like where I am and where I'm going. And he's pushed me here, in spite of his laziness, his silly expectations, his perfectly reasonable reasons. And maybe I have something to learn from that. Maybe I shouldn't make an enemy of him just yet. Maybe he's the only way I could have gotten here at all.
According to the step counter, I've walked over 1000 miles between today and the day I started. And, if my step average holds, I've got about 200 more miles to go before I finish this final leg of the journey. And I'm going to take my time counting, smelling the wind like strange country, eyeing the bricks and the skirts and the goofy hats in rapturous wonder. Because this is my last go around and I don't want to miss a trick.
I won't ever be back this way again.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Knock, Knock
It's my senior year and I'm kinda freaking out because I'm not freaking out. Instead, I'm calm. I'm composed. I'm self-aware and properly situated somewhere between nervous and ready.
And, ok, technically, my senior year started last Spring with my trip to South Africa, but that was "there" and not "here". Also it completely ruins the subtly of my narrative arc. So, please... drop it.
There's still something(s) to be said about my trip to South Africa and how it's not only changed me as a person (which, it has), but how it's had an effect on my relationships, my daily conversations, my interactions with strangers. Everything is political - everything SEEMS political - and I fight to address things with proper context and proportion.
And I'll be getting into that piece by piece over time, I'm sure, as I can't seem to stop talking about it. For now, though, I've got one school year left - 9 months (or thereabouts) before I am awarded a degree. That's sort of exciting. I bet there'll be a party with balloons and loved ones and bacon-flavored everything.
Consider yourself invited.
For now, though, I've got the task of completing roughly 30 credit hours of classes before early May of 2015. And that's not nearly as simple as it sounds.
School this fall consists of 5 classes; American Political Parties, Constitutional Rights & Liberties, Race & Public Policy, The Modern Novel, and a re-entry course for our South Africa. Outside of school, I'm volunteering at two high schools as a brass instructor for their competitive marching bands. I've also been hired as a contributing writer for recruiter.com.
Thus far, two whole and entire weeks in, I'm managing ok. I'm sleeping well (sort of), eating well (sort of), and even managing to find free time here and there (see: sleeping well). Mid-terms will be the true test (ha!) of how well I've been juggling my responsibilities and I look forward to that test when it comes. Until then, I've got a lot of work to do.
Here I go. Again.
And, ok, technically, my senior year started last Spring with my trip to South Africa, but that was "there" and not "here". Also it completely ruins the subtly of my narrative arc. So, please... drop it.
There's still something(s) to be said about my trip to South Africa and how it's not only changed me as a person (which, it has), but how it's had an effect on my relationships, my daily conversations, my interactions with strangers. Everything is political - everything SEEMS political - and I fight to address things with proper context and proportion.
And I'll be getting into that piece by piece over time, I'm sure, as I can't seem to stop talking about it. For now, though, I've got one school year left - 9 months (or thereabouts) before I am awarded a degree. That's sort of exciting. I bet there'll be a party with balloons and loved ones and bacon-flavored everything.
Consider yourself invited.
For now, though, I've got the task of completing roughly 30 credit hours of classes before early May of 2015. And that's not nearly as simple as it sounds.
School this fall consists of 5 classes; American Political Parties, Constitutional Rights & Liberties, Race & Public Policy, The Modern Novel, and a re-entry course for our South Africa. Outside of school, I'm volunteering at two high schools as a brass instructor for their competitive marching bands. I've also been hired as a contributing writer for recruiter.com.
Thus far, two whole and entire weeks in, I'm managing ok. I'm sleeping well (sort of), eating well (sort of), and even managing to find free time here and there (see: sleeping well). Mid-terms will be the true test (ha!) of how well I've been juggling my responsibilities and I look forward to that test when it comes. Until then, I've got a lot of work to do.
Here I go. Again.
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